Eyes On Me
by michisenpai
Summary: Recollections and memories of the saniwa's swords have started to infiltrate and flood her dreams. As she accepts the challenge of the Elders to finish the 'Memory of Samurai', she is bound to discover the darkest days of the swords of Sanjō.


**Cold.**

The wind is starting to pick up... and it's starting to send chills down to my spine. I look around and I am surrounded by a strangely thick fog. This terrain definitely feels like I'm some sort of... a forest, perhaps? The damp leaves and the slippery moss below my feet make me feel more uneasy. What if there's a steep slope and- wait, I'm barefoot? This doesn't make sense. Where am I?

 _'This place... isn't this Atsukashiyama?'_

 _'That's right!'_

 **Voices. Familiar ones.**

I called out but there's nothing. No reply from anyone else; only a repetitive and fading sound of my voice. But I am quite sure that I know that voice. I decide to follow it; not caring about what I could step on or if I might fall into whatever. I kept on walking. These voices could lead me out, at least.

 _'This is where we met our fates!'_

Oh dear. Now they're talking about fate. Any others coined to it? Let's see- destiny, coincidence, inevitability, dreams, déjà vu. And here I am; eavesdropping on other people's conversation. Good job, self. But what can I do? They're probably my only hope. At this point, I find myself running towards these voices, and I am starting to run out of breath. The fog beyond this unknown trail is starting to clear up and I can see silhouettes. They are seemed to be led by a… very big man with a very tall hat; with his very big robes that hug his equally big figure. Arranged in a quite unusual manner, what stands most to me are the oddly tall with a pole-looking thing and oddly small figure with a small hat thing on the top of his head... and they happen to be the nearest in distance to mine... I think. My legs are starting to feel jelly, but I must pick up my pace and follow. I run towards them. I'm about to reach them. Just a few more strides until-  
'The people who killed my precious master are dead.'

Dead? What are they-?

 _'They are; as they should be.'_  
 _'While I'm here, maybe I can save my previous master.'_  
 _'That won't do.'_

This conversation's starting to sound so wrong. A dead master... and resorting to not save this master? It doesn't make sense. Save someone who's supposed to be dead? Isn't that changing-

 _'Why can't we change history?'_

Upon hearing that question, my legs gave up and I fall onto the ground. It was wet and I could feel the dirt wrapping my skin.

'... Even through the sad times, we must continue onward.'

I sit up and gave out a sigh. You got that right, Mister-tall-figured-person-with-a-pole-thing; you are so right on cue and right off the bat. I have contemplated on the small one's question as a kid and as a young adult, and I've reached the same conclusion as Mister-tall-figured-person did. There were things I wanted to change; thinking that things would be better if this and that would or would not have happened. Also, history is a touchy subject for me. It's one of the few subjects I excel on and I am willing to work hard for. Studying history has made me see things in different perspectives. Life's mechanism made so much sense as I've looked at it in an objective manner.

The small one looked down; not moving a bit. It's just a silhouette of someone I do not know; but seeing him makes me cringe.

 _'It's hard.'_

Yes, it is hard.

 _'It really is...'_

I stand up. I call out. I reach out towards them.

 _ **"I'm so sorry for this but I have to do this, Aruji-sama! Hnnngh- ya!"**_

* * *

 **THUD!**

My back hurts. My head hurts. Screw it; my whole body hurts. I open my eyes and see a teary-eyed child clinging onto my hand... and little tigers biting my pajamas. I try to sit up to remove the tiger nibbling my foot when the door suddenly opens. A black-haired boy in Imperial uniform rushed in; followed by a red-eyed youth who seems to be fixing his nails.

 _"Brother! Kashū-san! Yamatonokami-san! I was able to wake up Aruji-sama!"_

With a very much disapproving look, Atsu only have out a deep sigh. On the other hand, I could see a mischievous smirk creeping onto Kashū's lips. Kashu approaches Gokotai, giving him a pat on the head. That's when it came to me- I just had a dream. Well, a recollection, to be exact.

The tall figure with a pole arm was Iwatōshi, the small one was Imanotsurugi, and the one leading them was Ishikirimaru. To be very honest, I'm still not used to these premonitions and visions and divine messages and dreams. It's unfair 'cause I never share anything about me to them. Yet, I know who they are- where they came from, a bit of what they've been through and now this? I now possess the skill that could enable me to see certain interactions while they're out to prevent the past to be changed. And sometimes, it keeps on playing on my head and it occurs in my dreams. I'd like to think of it as 'sharing one's burden', but a part of me still keeps on saying that I practice the golden rule everyday of not meddling with others' business- and I should just let them live their anthropomorphic sword life. But after months of playing the role of a Saniwa, I don't think I'd be able to practice what I preach anymore.

Guilt aside, seeing recollections of my swords leave a bad taste in my mouth. A bitter pill I must take in and swallow, and sometimes it makes me feel that bad things would happen soon. It's probably paranoia or something similar to that; but every time I lose track or simply divert my attention, something bad happens.

 _"Good job, Gokotai. She's one deep sleeper and if I were the one who woke her up, I'd just get a pillow slam on my face again. But... still not great 'cause she looks like she's spacing out again."_

Reality bites back at me and I can see see Kashū cleaning up the mess I've made. Gokotai on the other hand, holds me with his tiny trembling hands. Gear up, self. Not in front of kids. Flush that moment of weakness and smile. You're making the little tiger shed tears again because of your persecution complex. I sit up and ruffle his hair.

 _"Okay, okay. I get it. 'Mission: Wake up Aruji-sama' has been accomplished. But can you get these.. uhh little furries off? Gokotai you do know that-"_

 _"Brother, you do remember that Taishō is very bad with cats, right? Their fur could be fatal to her health."_

 _"Uuu... uwaaah! I completely forgot! I'm so sorry! Kashū-san told me to wake you but no matter how many times I try to shake and poke you, you wouldn't open your eyes. So, I took my friends in to help me and when you held your hand out, I... I p-p-pulled you out of the bed. Aruji-sama, please accept my apo-!"_

 _"Apology a- achoo! Please; get them out... unless you want to see me having a fit again."_

 _"I-I-I- I AM SO SORRY, ARUJI-SAMAAAAA!"_

Gokotai quickly runs out of the room as his five little tigers follow suit. Ooops. Seems like I owe my little tiger an apology. I turned to Kashū who it return, simply shrug his shoulders. But Atsu seems worked up and quickly lays his business.

 _"Forgive my brother's actions, Taishō. I'm aware that you should not be disturbed during your study period-"_

 _"Don't apologize. Does she look like she's studyi-"_ I raise my eyebrow which makes Kashū's eye twitch and stop talking. I gather my confidence, fix my posture and clear my throat. I take a deep breath... 'cause it's that time of the day once again. Call of duty, as they say.

 _"Sorry 'bout that. Atsushi, straight to the point, please."_

Atsu straightens up; Kashū puts his nail job aside and takes a seat beside me. Indeed, names hold a certain degree of power in every person; Anthropomorphic swords included.

 _"Our squad noticed an unknown force looming over the memory during our last venture. Sayo-san now describes the said memory as one of the few paths of dread and regret. I am bringing this up because Ishikirimaru-san's team were deployed to the same location at the moment. My two brothers are in the same squad. Taishō, I ask of you a great favor. Summon them ba-"_

The summoning bell rings loudly. That means one thing- a critically-injured captain. I rush out to my quarters, with the two following my lead. Upon reaching the entrance, I am presented with one of the most horrifying scenes I have seen in my entire life. Atsu rushes to aid his two brothers, Yagen and Nakigitsune while Kashū goes straight to Sayo, who dropped to his knees as he kept saying 'retribution'. A gravely-injured Ishikirimaru approaches from behind together with Iwatōshi; and in his arms he cradles the unconscious Imanotsurugi.

I've made a grave mistake. The biggest miscalculation. I overestimated an anomaly. That awful feeling... I-I-...

 _"Aruji-sama. I.. I, Ishikirimaru, main squad leader have returned... w-with my team."_ He takes slow and deep breaths with eyes closed; as if to gather his collective consciousness that has been slowly disintegrating by the blood dripping from his sides. Despite the situation, he chose to continue.

I hold my hand and plunge my nails onto my skin. The deeper, the better. Hold back those emotions. Look at them with pride. Your red-tainted captain is doing his best to finish his report. Show them the courtesy of staying focused and letting them finish their report before you go and show your shattered self.

 _"Five out six members, m-myself included, have received medium to severe injuries. One has almost... fallen." He then turns to the small one being held by Iwatōshi, who only avoided his gaze. "We have encountered a new enemy; much stronger than those we have battled against. B-but, we... we were able to eliminate those... those foul creatures who call themselves... Kebiishi. I-it is advised that sending teams at Mikatagahara for now is-"_

 _"Enough." I just had to stop him from talking._

 _"B-but Aruji-sama, I have yet to state vital detai-"_

 _"It could wait until all the repairs are done. You are dismissed."_

 _"Aruji-sama! This could not wait-!"_

 _"It is problematic enough to have a sacred sword who happens to be impure, incompetent and incapacitated. Ishikirimaru, I will hear nothing of this matter until all repairs are finished. You and your team... are dismissed."_

 _"A-as you wish, Aruji-sama."_

He bite his lips and gets Imanotsurugi's weak form from his brother. He walks pass me... and I could tell that my words caused a unseen and deep wound open up. I've hit him hard and I'm gonna regret it for the rest of my life. The Awataguchi brothers together with Sayo, bowed their heads and excuse themselves. Iwatōshi stands before me; and he's wearing that I-didn't-notice-since-you're-so-small-face as usual. Only this time, his big hand turns me back to him so that I can lean on his big, bloodied body. He ruffles my hair and his hand then covers my eyes. Is this his way of telling me that I could break down and cry now?

 _"I've failed."_

 _"If you failed, then we did too. But we survived and we annihilated; so you didn't, little one." His voice sounds tired yet warm. And he reeks of blood._

 _"My words surely hurt him. I only said that because-"_

 _"Because it's not the appropriate time to hunt the blades when we're in this state, huh?"_

I could feel hot tears falling down. Iwatōshi, you bully.

 _"How is it.. that you and your brothers know... the right words to say... in the right moment?"_

 _"We just.. know. We're the swords of Sanjō. We're supposed to hit... the right spots, in the right time."_

He removes his hand and gives me a pat on the shoulder. I wipe my tears and decide to accompany him to the repair room. Yet, he held his hand up; a signal for me to stop.

 _"I'll be fine on my own. Off you go, little one. You gotta read about the Kebiishi after the repair's done."_

 _"Huh? Wha-"_

 _"You'll understand if you take my advice. And then... you'll understand why all of these things happened. This is your strength, right? Searching for answers ."_

 _Kebiishi... the Sanjōs... What could all of that mean?_

Iwatōshi slightly bows his head and proceeds to the repair room. I run to my room, grab a few books and followed his lead.


End file.
